The Hum Bugs (Power Pop)


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The Copyright Czar

Just when you thought the red scare was over and that the Manchurian Candidate was nothing more than a harmless Sinatra flick, congress moves to place us under the watchful eye of a new Czar. First there was the drug Czar and now thanks to the recent passage of the Pro Intellectual Property bill America has a new Copyright Czar. What really causes me to scratch my head is why congress found it necessary to put such a Czar in place. If the Justice department couldn’t stay on top of all the piracy going on, what makes them think that sending the problem over to another department will somehow magically improve the situation? I think we should drag the Drug Czar in here and have him check to make sure that our politicians aren’t smoking crack, because there is something awfully fishy about this whole Copyright Czar nonsense.
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The Daleks

Exterminate!  Exterminate!  Exterminate!  I’ll never forget how scared I was the first time I saw the Daleks move across the old black and white television set in the family room of our old house in Illinois. In those days, Tom Baker was settling in as the lead character in the British sci/fi series, Doctor Who.  And it never failed, everywhere he traveled in his little blue police box, there was shure to be lots of danger lurking around every corner. But, in those episodes where he met up with the Daleks, I was always finding myself curled up behind a large piece of furnature out of sight.
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A Night at the Arcade

 

On May 22, 1980, Pac Man was released on the world by Namco.  I was seven years old at the time and completely obsessed with the whole video game phenomenon.  The first time I saw Pac Man was in the small arcade inside Keel Roller Rink in Salem Illinois.  There it stood to the right of the exit leading into the concession area.  Virtual ghosts chasing a hungry little munch happy icon around the screen was too much to resist.  Popping in quarter after quarter, my addiction to video games went from bad to worse.  I had a full blown case of Pac Man fever in no time at all.  And I was loving every moment of it.

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Weird Al Yankovic for President

Since our political system in America is the biggest joke on the planet, I felt it was time to introduce my pick for the next President of the United States.  On election day, the American people need to rise up and vote their conscience by writing in Weird Al Yankovic for President.  Now, I’m not certain who his running mate should be at this time, but it would be pretty cool to see the media address Mr. Yankovic as the next inhabitant of the oval office.  Perhaps Pauly Shore would fit in nicely into the Yankovic administration as a viable VP?  Just consider the possibilities.  Pauly’s experience in environmental issues from his role in Bio-Dome, first hand knowledge of the military from “In The Army Now”, and his insight into farm life in “Son In Law” adds to his long list of qualifications.  And perhaps some of that Beverly Hills high learning is what Washington needs a taste of here in the new millenium.

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The Details that Matter are Often Overlooked

It’s often difficult for us as a culture to confront the death of a popular celebrity head on.  When people we grew up watching on television or listening to on the radio pass away, it sort of reminds us of how old we are getting.  However, the recent passage of Jerry Reed, age 71, sent me skimming through articles and news blurbs for details about his many accomplishments in life.  To be honest, I found myself experiencing a bit of nostalgia as his role in films like “Smokey and the Bandit” and his work with such musical legends as Chet Atkins and Elvis Presley were brought to bear upon my mind.  But, as I continued to sift through reports from large media outlets like CNN and the Associated Press, it was what I was not seeing show up in these articles that left me a little disappointed.

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My Weight Loss Secret

Recently people have been commenting a lot on my weight.  Back in May I was hovering somewhere around 208 pounds.  I was out to prove that the fear of starving to death on a vegan diet was a completely unfounded concern.  By mid July, I had slimmed down considerably to a sleek 170 pounds: a difference of nearly 40 pounds.  Since then, everyone has been wanting to know my weight loss secret.  Was it some new pill to reduce fat for those pushing maximum density?  Was I spending more time at the gym? No, in fact, my weight loss plan came to me purely by accident. Somehow, out of nowhere, I contracted infectious mononucleosis (often refered to as mono or the kissing disease).  The bummer of the whole ordeal was that I wasn’t anywhere near another person’s lips during the incubation period leading up to the onset of sweats, swollen glands, dysphagia, dry heaving, and a sore throat that resembled swallowing razor blades.  Basically, the sort of symptoms you get after being severely kicked and beaten while trying to make your way out of the mosh pit at a death metal concert.  At least, that is how your ribs and spleen feel once the infection really grabs hold and decides to make its presence known.  The sad thing is that many people who get mono never get a serious case of it.  It is only those of us lucky enough to have symptoms drag out for months who get a sense of how evil such an infection truly is.

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Selling More CDs, T-Shirts and Other Items

Aside from making money through playing gigs, you have to be a good salesman to make money in the music industry.  If people aren’t buying your CDs, t-shirts, and other products, you are missing out on a small fortune.  You really don’t need a degree in rocket science to become a great salesman.  You just have to understand the basic psychology behind helping your fans remove the money from their wallet and invest it in your music career by placing that money in your hand.  What is funny is that musicians lose out on so much of that money, simply because they lack the necessary skills to close the deal.  But, all it takes is one good salesman to turn a track record of poor returns into a lucrative operation where the band is making money hand over fist.

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The Top Ten Bands of All Time

I always hated it when some magazine would list their pick of the top ten or even top one hundred bands of all time.  I mean, come on, The Rolling Stones?  You’ve got to be kidding.  Okay, I admit it, I like a couple of their songs, but give me a break.  And don’t even try to pull this old school gets more weight when ranking garbage.  If we had to attribute more points to bands that are old school, then what do we do when grandma brings her record collection out of the closet and starts comparing dates with mom’s old school 45s?  The mere thought of that sends shivers up my spine.

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The Dreaded Creative Slump

We all have moments when our creativity just doesn’t seem to want to come out and play.  Maybe your singer is having writer’s block.  Or, perhaps your guitarist is finally starting to realize that there are only so many ways to rearrange the chords C, G, and D before they realize that all their songs sound too much alike.  Whatever the problem is that sufficates your creative genius, it can potentially effect your bands ability to make progress overall.  So, what does a musician do when they find themselves in a slump?

For some, the road to new creative discoveries is long and frustrating. I remember after playing guitar for many years that I hit a rut that kept me grounded for two years.  I would play and play but nothing really new and exciting seemed to jump out and grab my attention.  To make matters worse, I began to get board with practicing the same stuff over and over again.  In all honesty, I became so board i put my guitar in its case and ignored it for nearly a year.  Sometimes a person will put an instrument down and never pick it up again.  Fortunately, I got to a point where I started missing the feel of my strat.  So, one day I pulled it out of the closet, plugged it in, and cranked the amp.  I noticed that it didn’t feel quite so stale to run the neck like it used to.

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