The Top Ten Bands of All Time

I always hated it when some magazine would list their pick of the top ten or even top one hundred bands of all time.  I mean, come on, The Rolling Stones?  You’ve got to be kidding.  Okay, I admit it, I like a couple of their songs, but give me a break.  And don’t even try to pull this old school gets more weight when ranking garbage.  If we had to attribute more points to bands that are old school, then what do we do when grandma brings her record collection out of the closet and starts comparing dates with mom’s old school 45s?  The mere thought of that sends shivers up my spine.

Clearly, the generation gap is a problem here.  Because the top ten bands of all time will undoubtedly span more than a single generation. This means that a band such as Herman’s Hermits might end up being chosen over a group such as Metallica.  Or, Britney Spears might cream Johnny Cash in the music polls if we were to put it to a national vote. Or worse, the master list may contain an arrangement of bands you never even knew existed if Grandma’s opinion and collection counts.  It all depends on who is doing the picking and choosing.

Is it possible to find an objective way to construct a top ten list? Some might be tempted to think that counting record sales would constitute an objective means to an end here.  Unfortunately, a band that only put out a single album might not stack up well against a band that put out 25 albums.  Or you might end up with a couple of bands that tie for a given position in your list.  Then what?  Do we meet at the Apollo and see which fans can scream the loudest in an attempt to break the tie?  Or, is the text message voting system of American Idol a more accurate method of resolving these little deadlocks holding up the show? 

In all honesty, the music industry really doesn’t care how we break the tie or how we go about positioning bands in the top ten, 40, 100, or however big the list in question is.  The end result is that the music industry will continue to make money hand over fist no matter who ends up sitting in the upper eschelon of popularity.  And although I think it is somewhat childish to try to construct a list of the top ten bands of all time, I would have to admit that I have some pretty strong opinions as to who deserves to be mentioned in that list.