The Talking Toaster
I used to love to catch the episodes of Red Dwarf that featured the talking toaster. There is just something about the idea of kitchen appliances that can hold an intelligent conversation that makes the thought of cooking far more appealing. Imagine how useful it would be to just start listing off items in the fridge or the pantry and your stove starts recommending recipes that use the particular items in question. No more wasting time trying to figure out what you should eat for dinner. You simply ask your refridgerator to remind you what left overs will likely be going bad soon. And if for whatever reason you are really stumped for ideas, you just pull up a chair and have a conversation with all your helpful appliances at the same time.
Even if your girlfriend calls up and flakes on you, you don’t have to sit home alone. You can finally get around to having one of those deep discussions with your A. I. toaster and attempt to resolve the persistant conflicts between General Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. Or, perhaps your toaster could talk you through the steps of properly applying the ricci tensor in a real world application. And for those guys who are not so adept with advanced mathematics and physics, there is always post game toaster talk to help keep a guy hip to the latest in football and other sports. Although, I would be happy to simply be able to resolve the nagging question of whether or not it is better to leave the lid of the toylet up or down. Hmmm! The talking toylet. Well, that’s a subject for another time.
It is unfortunate that with great advancements there are often negative side effects. Imagine getting on your toaster’s bad circuit. You might be eating burnt toaste for weeks until you figure out how to get it to drop its grudge against you. And then there is always the issue of scrapes and dents. Your toaster might report you to PETT (people for the ethical treatment of toasters), if you cause it to bear the marks of any physical damage. Or, in the case where there are many intelligent kitchen appliances, your toaster might just decide to start a full blown rebellion and convince all your appliances to revolt. Do you have any idea what sort of a mess an intelligent juicer could make up the side of your kitchen wall? Leave the fiber trap off some time and you’ll see what I mean. Despite the potential for complications of this nature, I still think it would be a good idea to get up to speed with fully intelligent kitchen appliances as soon as possible. Because, I for one could certainly use some additional help around the kitchen.
